Connecting to Family Through Story by Abbey Messmer

What a joy it is to share stories. 

Personally, I'm working on the telling part but I love to listen. I've always been a good listener, but through studying storytelling, we learn to be even more conscious with our ears. When you listen to family stories, you learn about your tribe, your people. You get both a glimpse of the past but also a notion of the future. You figure out why you know the things you do and how all the dots are connected.  Here's a recent account of sitting back and listening to a family story being repeated to the generations.

My partner Zachary and I were visited by Zach's 90 year old grandpa Everett last week, so as you can imagine we heard many stories during his stay.  What a vibrant and delightful man who has experienced so much from WWII to studying math and engineering, to owning a car dealership to growing huge gardens and trying to navigate a Kodachrome world with colorblind eyes.  Everett loves to talk and we love to indulge him.  Everett never really ends a sentence, rather his sentences are always punctuated with a drawn-out AAAAAAND.

One of my favorite stories Everett tells is about a horse that he bought named HapsTime. HapsTime was a retired pace horse and after some time living on Everett's land, he gave the horse to his daughter Debbie (Zach's mom) and family.  HapsTime was a very well trained horse and didn't need fences.  They'd open up the barn and let him wander into the orchard to eat apples off the trees and nibble grass at his leisure.  Neighbors would often knock on the door in a panic to notify the family that the horse had gotten loose but they'd always reply that he's fine and that he was too smart to get into the road. 

HapsTime was very keen on time.  At about 4 p.m. each day he'd exercise on his own.  He'd run himself into a lather doing laps around the pen.  He must have had a very diligent trainer that worked him out at precisely the same time each day.  HapsTime also knew what time the kids would be getting home from school in the afternoon.  He'd walk down to the end of the land and watch for the bus to come along.  When the kids would pop off the bus, he'd be waiting there and he'd escort them down the dirt road to the house with glee like a big gentle dog. 

HapsTime's arch nemesis was actually a dog though, a dog named Bart.  Bart loved to irritate HapsTime and HapsTime loved to do the same.  HapsTime would get into the dog food bowl and slowly munch away, while Bart barked at the top of his lungs.  HapsTime knew his own size and stood his ground delighting at his control of the precious food.  In turn, Bart would jump into HapsTime's water trough and bark incessantly, not allowing HapsTime to drink after his daily workout.  HapsTime, being the smarter one, figured that he could flick his tail into Bart's face and eventually Bart would bite onto that long, thick swatter.  In the moment they became attached, HapsTime would shift quickly in a semi-circle flinging Bart out of the trough or even swing him in circles as Bart clamped down in pure frustration! 

I can hear Everett giggling even now as I recall him telling this story. What a gift it was to spend nights sipping bourbon with Everett and Zach, listening to them relive these old but vivid memories that reveal so much about who they are and what makes them tick.

Comments

[Marian Giannatti]

This is delightful - full of so many visual images! I can see that old horse running his laps and greeting the kids after school. Well done!

[Genevieve]

It is a joy to hear you tell stories. You connect with animals and describe them with lovely details, making them real to all of us. I love your vision. I also enjoyed the way you framed this story with Everett's visit. It is short and clean and vivid - a little pastoral gem.

[Myranette Robinson]

What a great story. My mom is 93 so I can relate to how cherished their stories are.

[Sally Borg]

I love this story. It is so wonderful to just listen to the stories in our family. But then we need to tell others about the stories, to keep them alive.

[Mike Blackstone]

I so loved the fact you "indulged" Everett. And that he responded by telling the story with such glee. Yes, telling stories to each other binds us at the heart and is so great for relationships. It was quite obvious you and Zach made Everett's visit a joy for him. You're not just a good listener but a heart-centered one, as well! And it WAS a great story!!